Best man NO-NO’s
An inappropriate stag:
Some best men make the mistake of making it all about themselves, (especially in planning the bachelor party), instead of focusing on the personality and comfort level of the groom. A stag should not be about getting the groom drunk or embarrassing him with lap dancers for the best man ‘s and guests’ amusement, if these activities are not the groom’s style.
A tasteless toast:
A best man with an ego can over-estimate his talent and try to be like Jim Carrey, with tasteless jokes and not-so-funny references to his buddy as a stud and a review of his past girlfriends. A toast can be warm and mildly funny, but should never embarrass the couple, their parents or their guests.
A toast can be warm and mildly funny, but it should never embarrass the couple, their parents or their guests.
Unreliable behaviour:
Nothing can be more upsetting for the groom than having to be backcatcher for the best man who can’t be depended upon. Forgetting to organize the ushers for the tuxedo fittings, not doing the detail follow-up for the bachelor party, and arriving late for every appointment and event is a groom’s worst nightmare.
Too much liquour:
A dependence on liqour or drugs is a disaster waiting to happen. If a best man uses any excuse to over-indulge (Hey! It’s a party!), he soon will have everyone on edge, because his judgement about what’s acceptable gets clouded.
Choosing a woman
It still is unusual but certainly is acceptable for the best friend of the groom to be a woman. She becomes his honour attendant – and there are options about her choice of garment. She could wear a dress in a style that is complimentary to the bride’s attendants but in a different colour. Or she may dress in the same colours as the other groomsmen. (If they are wearing tuxedos, her dress would be black and white.) It is rare for a woman to wear a tuxedo. Most women who have been honour attendants for the groom say that they feel this would have looked a little ‘˜butch’. As one woman said to us, ‘I was certainly Brian’s best friend, dating back to grade school, but it wasn’t necessary for me to deny my femininity, so I chose a dress that was similar to that worn by the other female attendants’.