Adapting to the digital age of wedding etiquette

Today, technology and weddings go hand-in-hand. Yet weddings are also about tradition.

How do you take full advantage of technology, but avoid cyber rudeness or embarrassment?

Share your big news in person or by phone with your nearest and dearest, says Anna Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, and co-author of Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 6th edition.
Social media is OK to spread the news once those folks are covered.

A formal wedding warrants a formal invitation, says Toronto-based etiquette writer and advisor Karen Cleveland. A formal invitation is beautiful cardstock, printed and snail mailed with a formal RSVP card. There’s no such thing as a formal evite.
Anna says it’s fine to give guests the option of emailing their responses.
A casual wedding might warrant an evite, but experts are unequivocal about thank-you notes. Handwritten only.

Use these tools when planning and shopping or to keep your family and bridal party in the loop.
Wedding guests love gift registries, says Karen, so get the word out.
Your gift registry may be on the shower invitations but not on your wedding invitation. Relay the information on your website and by word of mouth.

Resist posting constant social media updates about your dress search, flowers or any wedding drama, says Anna. “You’re going to give your guests wedding fatigue before they even get there.”

Guests may take photos and post them online. There is no one general guideline at the moment, but don’t try to police your reception.
It’s still common to restrict photography during the ceremony. Anna suggests stating your wishes in your program and making a brief announcement before the ceremony to remind people to turn off cell phones.
As with any photos on social media, if you don’t like how you appear, ask someone to take it down or untag yourself.
Anna sees the value in limiting live streaming your nuptials to just a beloved relative who can’t travel.