The vows, the promises, the actual “I do’s” – your wedding officiant is the voice that carries the heart of the entire wedding ceremony. Finding the right one isn’t something you just tick off the to-do list and hope for the best. Choosing an officiant is about so much more than availability. It’s about trust, presence, energy and connection – the kind that gives you chills before the vows even start.
So before you commit to hiring anyone, ask the questions that will help your ceremony feel personal, not pre-programmed.
1. Can you legally marry us in our location?
Not exactly the most romantic place to start, but wildly important. Every province has its own rules, which means any officiant you’re interested in needs to be licenced where you’re getting married. So, whether you’re saying “I do” lakeside in Muskoka or on a rooftop in downtown Montréal, the first thing to clarify is whether they’re legally allowed to perform your ceremony.
2. How would you describe your ceremony style?
This one’s all about the vibe. Some officiants lean poetic, others bring a little humour, spirituality or just keep things civil and streamlined. You’ll want to think about the tone and flow you’re hoping for, then ask how they typically guide the ceremony’s mood.
3. Do you personalize the ceremony script?
This is another essential question, especially if the idea of a cookie-cutter ceremony makes you cringe a little. A great wedding officiant will want to get to know you – not just your names and dates, but the big stuff: your love story, your quirks, your values. You’ll want to know how they collect those personal touches. Some use questionnaires, others prefer one-on-one chats. Either way, the more they care about who you are, the more unforgettable the ceremony will be.
4. Can we write our own vows?
If you’ve never planned a wedding before (and most haven’t), you might not realize there’s a whole range of ways this part can go down. Some officiants come prepared with a script – clean, structured and complete. Others? They’re all about letting you pour your heart out in your own words, full-on tears and all. If personal vows are a must for you, find out how they are typically handled. Do they help? Do they read them in advance? Do they have examples that don’t sound like a Hallmark card? It helps to know what kind of support they offer – especially if you freeze up at the idea of writing something from scratch.
5. What’s your rehearsal policy?
The rehearsal isn’t just about getting the processional timing right – it’s about calming nerves, testing the sound, and ensuring the wedding officiant knows how to keep things smooth if unexpected things happen (hello, mic failure). Ask whether they usually attend wedding rehearsals, how long they stay and what they typically run through. Their presence can turn pre-wedding jitters into actual confidence.
6. Do you bring your own mic or sound system?
Will guests be able to hear a word you’re saying? That depends. Some venues have crystal-clear, built-in sound. Others… not so much. The best officiants come prepared – with a lapel mic, speaker and backup batteries. Make sure they’ve got gear that works for your space and allows guests to hear every single syllable, even the whispered ones that bring the room to tears.
7. How do you handle unexpected moments?
Whether it’s a guest (or your fiancé) fainting, a toddler screaming or the wind ripping a veil straight off, weddings love a little chaos. That’s why it’s worth finding out how a potential wedding officiant deals with those little surprises. Do they pause? Improvise? Keep going with a wink and a sense of humour? It’s one of the best ways to see how they show up when things don’t go exactly to plan.
8. Can we see examples of past ceremonies?
It’s one thing to hear someone talk about their style – it’s another to actually see it in action. It never hurts to ask if they’re willing to share a few videos of past ceremonies. Not so you can copy them, but so you can feel the way they tell a story, build momentum and hold a room. If their words hit you right in the heart, you’re probably onto something special.
9. What do you wear to the ceremony?
A neon bowtie might be fine for some weddings but if you’re going full black-tie or following a cultural dress code, it’s worth asking what they plan to wear. The last thing you want is your wedding officiant stealing the spotlight with a rogue outfit.
Wedding officiant FAQs
Do we tip our officiant?
In most cases, yes – especially if they’ve gone above and beyond. Tips typically range from $50 to $150, depending on their experience and how involved they were.
How far in advance should we book a wedding officiant?
Ideally 6–12 months out, especially if your date is during prime wedding season (May through October in most regions).
Can we include cultural or religious traditions?
A good wedding officiant will happily incorporate your traditions as long as they’re legally allowed and logistically feasible.
What happens if our officiant gets sick last-minute?
Ask about their backup plan. Most experienced officiants have a network they can tap into to ensure you’re covered – just in case.
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