Love can begin with infatuation or, at the other end of the spectrum, it can begin with a solid friendship. Either way, the long-term goal is the same: to nourish it and keep it alive. More than alive. Growing.
So what does this have to do with planning a wedding? Everything! Over the years, at Today’s Bride, we’ve seen couples get so involved with the details of their wedding that the reason for the marriage got lost.
It can be a tense time. Satisfying inlaws, friends and attendants, keeping an eye on the budget, having to agree on every detail. On top of that, there are the pressures on both of you to keep your jobs and your bosses happy.
The end result is that these days and months often stop being fun. Worse than that. The relationship becomes strained.
So here it is: four ways not to lose your groove during these busy months, based on the experience of the brides we have met over the magazine’s past 30 years.
Have a conversation
Don’t struggle alone. It’s imperative that you share your mutual misgivings. Keep everything on the table. If you’ve had all you can take from his interfering mother, tell him. He can talk with her and suggest she back off. If he thinks you’re spending too much money, sit down and review the budget together.
Bottom line: don’t hide your feelings and let them fester.
Get out of town
A few times throughout the planning process, treat yourself to an overnight stay at a hotel in a major city or a little inn in the country. Promise each other that any discussion about the wedding is off the table and, instead, talk about your shared future.
Wander down memory lane
Recollect how you met and relive the beginning of your relationship and all of the lovely moments since it began. This is guaranteed to firm up your exciting decision to spend the rest of your lives together.
Surprise each other
We never grow out of our delight with a surprise. It may be preparing a candlelight dinner when your mate is expecting to go out for hamburgers. Any little surprise allows tension and worry to dissolve as you live in the moment.
Originally published in Today’s Bride magazine, Spring/Summer 2016.