Sometimes, we’re at a loss for words, especially when we’re emotional. We asked The Marry Men to share a few tips for when it’s time to say ‘I do.’ Here’s their advice for taking the “ow” out of writing your wedding vows and turning them into “wow.”
A vow is a promise, and vows are promises that are made to be spoken. You don’t have to be a poet, playwright or politician to put your promises to paper. Get inspired by reading examples of wedding vows, quotes about love and relationships, or even passages from books or lyrics from songs that resonate with you. To write your own wedding vows, discuss the tone, length and style with your partner. Then start writing, and don’t worry about getting the words down perfectly on the first try.
Vow in the now. Approach your vows from the perspective of “from this day forward” rather than reflecting on “the way we were.” Focus on the exciting journey ahead of you rather than looking back on how you got here. Many good officiants pride themselves in telling the story of how you met and what has brought you to this very moment in your ceremony.
Speak your love language. Every couple has a language that is uniquely their own, so include your nicknames, inside jokes, personal anecdotes and endearing quirks to make your vows more personal and meaningful. Remember, these vows are being made between the two of you. Your guests are there to witness them.
Speak from the heart. Your vows should be sincere and heartfelt expressions of your love and commitment. When writing your own wedding vows, imagine what your partner might be promising you. Think about the qualities you admire in your partner and the qualities you want to nurture in your marriage.
Speak with a smile. Wedding vows should be short and sweet, so aim for around one to two minutes. Practice speaking your vows out loud and with a smile. Decide whether you’ll be using a mic or not. If you’re not a public speaker, ask your officiant to coach you through one of the biggest performances of your life.
Putting the “wow” in your wedding vows
Ping-Pong promises
Consider writing your vows together by highlighting the things that matter to you most. Then ping-pong your promises one vow at a time. This can serve as a fun relationship-building exercise and prove to be an entertaining exchange for your guests.
Printed promises
Personalized vow books are cute, but they’re not original. If you’re gamblers, consider dealing out your “I Do’s” on oversized playing cards. If you’re board game or role-play enthusiasts, roll out the Magic and D&D when saying, “I take thee.” If you’re restaurateurs, serve up your vows on a makeshift menu. If you’re travellers, transform a postcard into yet another keepsake.
Promises-in-private
Many couples are opting to exchange vows privately either during their “first look” or in an intimate moment just prior to the ceremony. More traditional vows can be saved for the ceremony, but taking a few minutes to be together and sharing the sentiments you have scripted can set the tone for your wedding day and your marriage.
Rev. Michael and Rev. Jason are The Marry Men, registered wedding officiants and celebrants who custom-craft personalized ceremonies that tell your story. themarrymen.ca
Photography: Elle Ivy Photography
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